Nadja

BEFORE

AFTER

In my adolescent years, I entertained the thought of me being a boy trapped in a girl’s body. And as I grew older, I had accepted the lie that I was born this way. My thinking became futile, and my foolish heart was darkened as I continued to find my identity in the same sex relationship.

In my inner consciousness, I struggled being a born-again Christian who suppresses the truth. I tried to reason out and speculate with God, justifying that this can’t be wrong because all this is love. When deep inside I knew that it’s wrong.

By choice I blocked the truth of God. I preoccupied myself with the lust of my heart going from one relationship to another in search of true love. But, in all of it I was miserable. I was unfaithful, abusive, jealous and controlling. I felt empty, unsatisfied and lost. Then one day when I was all alone, I had the chance to reflect on my life. I remember a time when I was not in a relationship with anyone and how joyful and peaceful I was reading, learning and meditating the word of God. That moment I humbled myself, repented and prayed to God for forgiveness. I asked for that peace and joy to rest in me again all the days of my life.

God heard my prayers. And shared with me my real identity. One day I was driving and meditating on John 14:26, “But the helper the Holy Spirit whom the father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and remind you of all that I said to you.”  

In my Spirit He said, “Remember the day you were born?”

I said, “Yes! My Mother told me the story. I was supposed to die that day. My Father came to check on my mom and saw her hemorrhaging, so he called for emergency and asked for the doctor.”  

The doctor came and said, “We need to operate right away you must choose between the mother or the child.” My father chose my mother. I survived anyway.

The Lord said, “Yes you did; you see your life was not in the doctor’s hands or your father’s decision — you survived because it was My call. Remember, I called you in existence.” OH WOW!

”I knew you even before I formed you in your mother’s womb.” Double WOW!

“I gave you life for I am your Father, and you are my beloved daughter.” Triple WOW!

I know now that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am forever loved. I am chosen. I have hope. He gives me direction. He has never left my side nor forsaken me. He protected me. He provided for me. He was faithful, loving and kind. He had carried me wherever I went until I came to this place patiently waiting for me to seek Him and call upon His name for, I am a child of God!

Nadja V. Mirpuri